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Wrinkle War

by Amy Zidell

02.11.03

I was listening to Collin Powell enumerate the litany of real weapons that Saddam Hussein possesses while I was driving on the Ventura Freeway this morning. I had the car radio tuned to news for traffic updates as I was negotiating this weird natural phenomena known as rain. When Secretary of State Powell mentioned stockpiles of botulinum toxin it all made sense to me. The desperate, at times seemingly irrational, frequently misguided pleas led most vocally by women of print, film, and music media. (A few aging men have joined this battle cry as well.) Their submissive pleas to coddle Saddam, their mean spirited Bush bashing -- it's not about peace as they'd like you to believe. Their concern about Saddam's safety is directly related to their self-interest in maintaining a ready supply of low cost botulinum toxin for their Botox shots. They know any Baghdad Bombing parties would put a wrinkle in their Beverly Hills Botox parties.

These taut mouthpieces cleverly hide their conspiracy by a coordinated affront of the censoring chilling effects of political correctness and relying on their ability to star-strike-blind the media and the public from the truth. Even more misleading is the calm face they put on their cause. This fake front is not due to their excellent acting talents. The reason they can keep a straight face when they spout off is because their faces are frozen.

It's with a slight smile etched onto this calm exterior that they add shell game slight of hand to the table by demonizing SUV's. Its purpose is pure distraction as other petroleum products are curiously completely spared any scathing. One blatant omission -- petroleum jelly, a.k.a. Vaseline®. They don't dare suggest diaper rash management funds terrorism. But just how much oil goes into the hypo-allergenic emollient that includes in its list of uses the following:

Those reporting the news are not necessarily above the fray, even having a conflict of interest, as many in the on camera news industry may also share a personal interest in ease of Botox availability. Perhaps this explains why the radio report about botulinum toxin stuck out so much more than televised reports on the same general subject matter.

Coming face to face with special interests isn't pretty.


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