Almost Stimulated

by Amy Zidell

While our elected officials chat about the precise nature of a stimulus package, which on the surface has been presented so far as a consumer spending spree, I thought I would offer 10 of my suggested stimuli.
  1. Walmart gift cards. They say shopping at WalMart has the same net effect as making more money so this would help the economy, through trickle down economics, and effectively give everyone a raise. (Depending on what's purchased, this may also help the Chinese manufacturing industry.)

  2. Solar panel vouchers. Become energy efficient and support local business.

  3. Free cheese, cigarettes, beer, or premium cable. The first three could result in an increase need of medical services and therefore stimulate the economy. The last, well, personally I think I would enjoy first run HBO programming.

  4. Free puppies or kittens for everyone! If doting on a beloved pet doesn't stream money into the economy I don't know what will. This also helps with the placement and adoption of shelter animals.

  5. An old muscle car for every garage. If you haven't mainlined money into the economy via the pampered pet, try a vintage car. Not only will this reduce landfill stress and will retain fundamental resources but the desire to hear and FEEL the roar of a real motor will inspire innovation toward alternative fuel sources.

  6. Free Trademark, Patent, and Copyright registration and filing for U.S. citizens. Want to encourage innovation, creative solutions, creativity, and push science and math skills? Making it easier and less costly to protect the intellectual property rights of U.S. citizens can only help the economy.

  7. Build the fence, oil refineries, and power generation plants. This will employ LOTS of Americans but will also lower energy costs and increase energy independence. Besides, updating and improving the nations power grid is a smart preemptive measure to stave off the economic hit that would result in a massive power outage.

  8. Outlaw and put a stop to Stalkerrazzi. The real danger and serious annoyance of these pirana outweigh any monetary benefit they offer to the economy. Less tabloid fodder for citizens to waste their time on may dramatically increase productivity.

  9. Free Web Sites, high-speed internet, music downloads, and computers. Increasing the ability of consumer to buy online not only helps the economy but the environment as well. Online stores commonsensically have a minimal carbon imprint. This also would encourage aspiring entrepreneurs to develop and distribute products and services on their own by starting small businesses.

  10. Free travel vouchers including airfare and hotel. Not only will the travel and resulting incidental expenditures put money into the economy, but by 'getting away' those in dire financial circumstances can forget their troubles for 5 nights / 6 days. Additionally, pet sitting services as required by item #4 stimulates more economies.

© 2008 Amy Zidell

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